(Herodotus) Trouble in the Suez

(Herodotus)

Now children, gather round the fire pit and listen closely to a tale of revolution and intrigue, bravery and betrayal, pirates and potato famines. It all began with a relatively, at least in the grand scheme of history, uneventful outbreak of sickness in Cretan controlled Asia Minor. Despite the deadly calamity's effect on his people the Cretan King Jaman Min, who had taken control of Crete after the last leader was eaten, deliberately spread the plague to Thracian border towns and then moved in his own citizens when the Thracians died off. Naturally the leader of the Thracians, Queen Grace XXIX of Thrace, responded poor and she and her ally Queen Kirbia of Illyria declared war on the Cretans to reclaim the lost land. Also at this time, the last remaining member of the Egyptian royal family, a man known only as The General, wandered out of the Egyptian ruins, given a second chance at life by God. The General wandered the desert for 15 years before being picked up by a Thracian trade ship and brought to the capital of Thrace. Once there The General offered aid to the Thracian-Illyrian Alliance in their war against Crete, which the queens gladly accepted. But the heart of The General was not pure and he, like his ancestors, lusted for power and wealth and it was not long before he set his eyes upon the African colonies in Crete, they would be his. 

Also in this fabled time was the Roman and African Golden Age, brought on by the addition of fertile land from the Nile River to their respective empires. During this time the African empire stretched from Tunisia to Crete to Egypt and the Roman Empire spanned from Sardinia to Cyprus. Many great technological marvels were discovered in this time, and it was one of these that set off the chain of events that would lead to one of the greatest wars this world has ever known. Specifically when the Africans developed what they call "Engineering" that their Cretan colonies became rather dissatisfied with their African overlords. 

This was just the chance that The General needed and he immediatly set to work on instigating a rebbellion with him as the leader. This caused much unrest in Rome and Africa, as the two nations had sworn that no Egyptian leader would ever again be allowed to control land, as the Egyptians were simply too much of a warmonger. 

Now surrounded on all sides by enemies, Crete was quickly forced out of Asia Minor and Jaman Min and some of his most loyal followers fled to the North African Coast, where they later starved to death. Now that the Cretan war was no longer a concern for the African rebels with their Egyptian leader, Rome worried that The General would begin expansion into the Nile delta, land traditionally belonging to Egypt. To solve this problem before it became one Rome commited a most sneaky act and sent warships disguised as traders to raze the rebelling African cities to the ground, cutting off The General's source of income and leaving him with a paltry few troops, which he then used to sack a nearby Illyria city in an attempt to "Go out in a blaze of glory". A wish that was easily granted as The General lost roughly 70% of his remaining men in the siege. 

Also in this time was the fabled bardic rebellion, where the eastern Roman Empire, which believed music to be the highest form of art, revolted against their Italian masters, who believed theater to be the highes form of art.